An Extra Minute

One Story • One Step • One Question. Three minutes.

One Story

She sat down near me at a bus terminal in Latvia, took a breath, and opened her travel bag. She went through her papers for a minute or so, pulled out a single sheet, and read it over.

I kept looking at her. I wondered if she was lost, or unsure of the bus schedules, and whether I should offer to help. She caught me at it, turned, and smiled.

“My husband died recently,” she said. “He always took care of these details, and this is something I’m learning how to do. I’m traveling more because it takes my mind off of things. And sometimes I need just an extra minute to gain the confidence to go talk to the person in charge.”

She was on her way to a volunteer project about three hours away, working with children. They would remind her of her own grandchildren, she said, and she wanted those grandchildren to see her still building a life.

Then she read the sheet once more, stood up, and walked to the person in charge. She took her time getting there.

I had been ready to rescue her. As it turned out, all she needed was two minutes and a piece of paper.

One Step

Somebody else used to handle it. The tickets, the forms, the talking at the counter. Then a death, a divorce, or a move leaves the job with you.

Build the pause into the plan. Before any counter, whether it is a bus terminal, a bank, or a visa office, put what you need on one sheet of paper: where you are going, what you are asking for, the one question you cannot leave without answering. Arrive ten minutes early. Sit down. Read the sheet. Then stand up and go.

Nobody behind the counter knows how long you sat.

One Question

What would you walk toward today if you gave yourself two minutes to gather your courage first?

— Randy

I've spent fifty years in international education and cultural exchange — a front-row seat to people changing careers, countries, and lives. If you're putting together a panel, a podcast, or a story and want a voice from the field, just reply. Replies come straight to me, and I read every one.